Sugar Mama/Boy Toy? The New Cougar Dating

Some women just don’t have the gene for being a sugar mama. Count me among those women. I don’t even like the sound of the word ”cougar“ when applied to a woman.

November 28, 2009, Relationships / Psychology Today

Sugar mama/Boy toy? Probably not according to new cougar survey

Many over-40 women don’t mind being called “cougars” but they are redefining cougar dating. The old stereotype of a sugar mama looking for a fling with a boy toy seems to be dying. This is the Demi-Ashton world, after all: over-40 women often exercise, use botox, take consummate care of themselves and create a youthfulness and vitality that belies their physical age. And many of these women are recognizing new relationship possibilities for themselves. A recent survey of 100 self-proclaimed cougars sheds light: more than 90% of these modern cougars say they want a long-term relationship with a younger man.

Even if they earn more money than the guy, they expect him to pay his way-to cover dinner or at least split the check. The new cougars want to date younger guys who are romantic, chivalrous and, best of all, relatively free of the emotional baggage from the past. 52% of the cougars in the study were in their 40s and their ideal guy is aged 24-27. 45% were ‘lifestyle cougars’ who have dated more than five younger men. About a third of them say they will never go back to dating men their own age. And only 5% of women polled plan to ever return to seeing men their own age. A number of over-40 women are happily redefining the rules and roles of cougar dating.

For more on the cougar survey, go to



10 thoughts on “Sugar Mama/Boy Toy? The New Cougar Dating

  1. djnlsn says:

    Any 43 yr. old woman who believes she may have something in common with a 24 yr. old guy, unless he’s her son, is thoroughly whacked out. At that point, it’s only about sex. Long term relationship? Please. Who pays for dinner? C’mon. The moment the breast implants and Botox begin to sag, that kid’s outta there. Most “cougars” end up being lonely old women who didn’t have the foresight to realize they may live quite a while and will never know the enjoyment of walking through the park, holding hands and reminiscing with someone from their own generation. A partner, not a boy-toy. How sad that our culture, via the media, throws this “youth” thing in our faces 24/7 and the “cougars” are one of their prime targets. Way to go Demi! You’re another fine example of Hollywood at it’s best and since you (oh immortal actress) will live forever, you’ve plenty of time to champion every Lib mentality you can wrap your pea-brain around while setting ( and I have to agree with the Muslims on this one) standards which only contribute to the decay of western societal values, as many less-than-bright types will certainly strive to emulate you. At times, I can almost understand the Islamic belief in our decadence. (Dang! where’s my milk?)

  2. lornakismet says:

    David, this might be the onliest time that we agree with the same passion. These women are not true to themselves. They are adopting passing fads and trying to have the free-wheeling option that men have. This would not make ME happy.
    ~ zz

  3. djnlsn says:

    Lorna, not sure that men have a “free-wheeling” option. We too get older and balder and are bombarded daily with media claims that we can regain our youthful confidence with “so and so’s” hair replacement technique. More media nonsense. Some fall for it, some don’t. I’d prefer to age gracefully and accept whatever lessons nature may wish to teach me with the belief that I’m here for a reason and that reason will only become apparent upon my passing. I know your beliefs are not in agreement but that being said, I’m sure there are many more issues, such as this one, that we’re in passionate agreement with aside from your somewhat ( uh..) misguided political views. 🙂 Regards,


  4. djnlsn says:

    Ps. Lorna, thanks for the “onliest” word. I can use it in my Xword submissions. I thought you were making it up. I wish I’d gone to UCLA (Sigh).

  5. lornakismet says:

    What? Dude, that was my made up word.

    What did I miss along the way?

  6. djnlsn says:

    Nothing more than your usual reality “misstep” Dude. Buts that why we love you. 🙂 Weren’t you going on another vacation? You may wish to interview for a guest host on your site. Y’know, someone who could support you nationally , like Sister Sarah, or Carrie or that other one , er, ( hang on, I’m waiting for the echo) yea, that one too! Ps. Us Libs do not take vacations . We do the truth, justice thing 24/7 (hiccup)
    ~ Dave

  7. Levin says:

    Need a luvin sugar momi to satisfy me.Email me at Don’

  8. christo says:

    Please i need a sugar momi to satisfy me and i will satisfy her 100%
    Mail me at

  9. Juan salsedo says:

    Hello my name is Juan and I’m locking 4 @ sugamama if you want to see me you can mail me at

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